i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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