well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I need water and some morals
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
