Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
