please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
