my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
i think my cat just said my name.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
