Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
