did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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