he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
