Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
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The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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