she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
