Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
