I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
