I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
