Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just pee around me
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
