Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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