she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
