The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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