yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
and you fell through a lawn chair
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
