YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
