my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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