beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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