My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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