Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
