She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
