Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
