I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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