Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
