Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
