I wish I only lived at night.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Help. Why am I so naked?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
