He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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