he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
