4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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