Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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