beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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