I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
