oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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