I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
