We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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