Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
its liver damage thursday
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize