Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
