so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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