Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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