that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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