yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
