guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
well most of my day revolves around power hour
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
