hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
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i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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