dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize