this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize