Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
