i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Randomize
