Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I want to fling myself into the sun
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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