I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
