the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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