I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
