Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
