So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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