I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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