i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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