yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
