every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
