i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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