I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
