member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
