Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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