i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
