I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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